10 Conversations often begin with “Put the gun down, and then we can talk.”
9 The school principal has your number on the speed dial.
8 The cat is on Valium.
7 People have trouble understanding your kids because they learn to speak through clenched teeth.
6 You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
5 The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of family members.
4 No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3 “Family meetings” are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
2 You must check your kid’s day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
1 Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.
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